"Dear Lord, thank you for Morrie's restaurant." "And that low-cal honey mustard salad dressing is truly a gift."
"Dear Lord, we understand that you have a plan, and that plans are sometimes...difficult to see. And thank you for the addition of the salad bar at Morrie's."
"Dear Lord, please protect my dad from the fucking Asian drivers." "Amen."
(Meghan Arnette throws a hysterical wailing tantrum. Lord above, she's got some pipes!)
"Dear God, please bless our grandma as she goes in for her operation. And let them have the wisdom not to put red peppers in my quesadilla again."
"Thank you Father for letting me have an evening alone with my beautiful wife. In the hope that we can connect...spiritually, and...physically." "Dear Lord, please let this headache go away by tomorrow."
(These three seem to have their lines pretty well memorized already. Well done!)
"Dear Lord, my friend said if I pray hard enough, I can have a penis just like he does. IS THIS TRUE?"
Well it's 1:00; time to break for lunch!