Friday, January 6, 2012

The Insults I Didn't Use

Being a sonuvabitch theater critic, I'd prepped some terse, boilerplate insults this afternoon—but the show was so good, I only had to use one. The rest that I'd prepped, just in case:

"That scene wasn't worth its carbon footprint."

"They're doing this scene twice tonight—but once was enough."

"The X stood for Y. But the audience stood for more than it should've."

"Too bad the curtain had to be open."

I'm happy to have kept my guns (mostly) holstered tonight. Good show, everyone!

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