Director's Meeting

SHOW 1 - director Charles Smith - On stage there will be a piece of plastic. There will also be chocolate syrup, pies and an old timey soda fountain employee by the name of Chester.

Andy Jensen, "Chuck, does your pie fight tech have to happen in the theatre?"

SHOW 2 - director Stan 'Loud Voice' Shields - They will need a fabric dirt mound removed at the end of the show. There will also be glitter. Anyone who loves glitter might enjoy Stan's show.

SHOW 3 - director Paul Morgan Stetler - I didn't hear anything Paul said because someone was SCREAMING! Why does 'miracle' mean a shit ton of screaming?

SHOW 4 - director Richard Ziman - Again, I didn't hear what Richard said because there was more SCREAMING! This time from a different room. Great! More miracle screams.

SHOW 5 - director Opal Peachey - Now I got distracted while Deb informed me about what she feels are three of the big miracles - Jesus, Elvis and birth. Now she is gloating because all three are being presented tonight. No doubt there will be a screaming Jesus, a screaming Elvis and a screaming baby. Enough with the SCREAMING!

SHOW 6 - director Andy Jensen - Has requested a lawn chair with corn dogs for Patrick Apple-corn to eat. Awesome! How do you spell art? LAWNCHAIRPATRICKAPPLECORNDOGS.

SHOW 7 - director Jaime Roberts - There are two acts in this show... sweet Jesus dressed as Elvis. We're not going to get out of here until 3am.

SHOW 8 - The show's director steps forward and makes the request for money to get a can of beer at the corner store. What the hell?!?! EIGHT SHOWS!?!? Oh... false alarm. Not a director... just a homeless person.

3pm Director's Meeting

We learned that stage manager Lou Butler has a Culinary Arts Degree form the University of Alaska.  Someone joked that her thesis was on venison. Lou replied "I know how to gut and skin a moose in 2 minutes.  A moose is bigger than you."

Anyway......

Only 2 directors were late (3:03pm ain't 3:00).  The following is paraphrased:

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Lou: You know there are no light changes when these scenes change, right?

Director: Derek said it could be done.

Lou:  If  Derek can do it in 20 minutes, it's yours.

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Director: 3 pages, 187 cues

(pause)

Lou: (a look that speaks "Is this really how you want to use your time?")

Director: Okay.  Lights up when he exits with the sandwich, lights out.

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 Director: The band has a number of golf ball cues.

Lou: I'm concerned about a golf ball going down the vom and being left there.

Director:  the actor can pick it up afterwards.

Lou: In the dark.

Director:  ....I'll make sure the actor picks it up.

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Director:  The band will play the last 4 bars, and vamp while the the actors crawl downstage, then the lights will do a slow fade but cross into blue before going all the way out.  Simple yet complex

Lou:  ... Next?

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Director:  they argue "did not did too did not did too" til page six

Lou:  Whoa.  til page six?

Director:  Oh sorry.  I jumped from page one.  There aren't any cues until page six.

Lou:  I knew that.

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Lou:  Good work everyone.  (Deb Fialkow whispers in Lou's ear)  I've just been informed that the light board has lost all its preset cues.  So tech will be a little delayed.  Please arrive to the theatre at your assigned time with the expectation that you will start at least 5 minutes late.

Directors:  Hm.

Directors pick the boys and the girls...

Virgin Director Julie Beckman

Veteran Director David Bennett and his Farah Fawcett Codpiece.

Director's meeting

All the directors are now downstairs meeting with Lou and Tim. Here is where everyone talks about the technical needs of their show, and the spine of what you'll all be seeing in less than five hours really starts to take shape.

The big theme of this meeting is discussing the set pieces needed, and orchestrating set changes. Set changes are my most favorite thing ever, because if you screw them up ever so slightly, it becomes a play about set changes. So, you can sense the importance of this meeting.

Darian Lindle is the playwright that wins the award for least set pieces, with zero. Rachel Atkins comes in second with one. Way to go, guys. In the paraphrased words of Shakespeare, "Brevity is friggin' awesome."

Tim and Megan will be your set crew tonight, so be sure to give them a little round of applause when you see them. Or, if that strikes you as too much, be sure to give them a knowing smile and a tip o' the hat.

FYI, It is really getting hot in herre.