Saturday, January 8, 2011

Something you will not see Saturday night

As I take a small break, I thought I'd share the first thing I started working on tonight which I quickly threw in the trash. One coworker reading to another coworker, a document that the second worker left in the printer by accident:

"List of things that will never love me.
  • my stapler
  • my three hole punch
  • my shredder
  • the apple in my sack lunch
  • fire hydrants
  • halitosis

"Things that provide comfort, which can be confused with love, but is in fact the impartial completion of an intended function:

  • Gold Bond medicated powder
  • gummi bears
  • dirty magazines
  • You Tube videos of people falling on the ice.
  • A mother's breast. And here you wrote an asterisk with a note at the bottom of the page that reads: only applicable during the breast feeding years which should never be continued once the child is old enough to ask for it by name and indicate a preference for right or left.

"Things that I love regardless of their ability to love me back:

  • Sleeping pills"

So you can see why I discarded this and moved on.

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1 comment:

  1. Maria GlanzJanuary 8, 2011 at 2:37 AM

    Lovely. My discarded play involved 3 scenes in bed:
    scene one: a dead mother, grieving father, and kid trying to hold it together
    scene two: all of them in bed together, kid about 5 years old
    scene three: pregnant mom and dad in bed, daydreaming about trips to the grand canyon and hiking and who their child will be
    I may write it someday, but when I have more than 6 pages and I'm not so tired. Coulda been a major fuckin' downer. So I went for literal bedtime story slapstick.

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