Virgewatch: The Ticket

Friday night's first piece is written by a virgin, LaChris Jordan, and features 3 virgin actors; Matthew Middleton, Chris Einsweiler, and Sylvie Davidson. Also present are veteran actor Kaleb Hagen-Kerr and veteran director Tina La Plant. This piece has inspired fire gloves, pregnancy bits (always a crowd pleaser), the band's excellent performance of "Ring of Fire", and the following piece of direction;

Tina: No, no, no, he lights the fire before the water breaks.

They have just completed a run of the show, which depicts a very "down home" sort of American family, and Tina is heading off to the director's meeting. She tells them to rest and drink water.

The virgins are calm, cool. None reek of barf, none are visibly crying. This here's a good set of virgins, I'd say. Healthy, confident, and talented. Dang talented.

I just sat at the dinner table occupied by the cast and director. After seeing Keira McDonald's hair, and commenting on it's grodyness, Keira promises she's gonna 'do it up'. I ask Sylvie Davidson and Amanda Williams about their hair, as they are playing a 'whiskey tango' mother-daughter pair. They say 'they gone do each others up real good'. Kaleb Hagen-Kerr is there. He plays the papa, and we decide he's like a wrangler, since he's got purt near a gaggle of virgins workin his soil, and he's the papa.

I am deboning chicken with my mouth, and Kaleb says, "I'm a Vee Dubya."

"A Vee Dubya?" I say.

"Yeah, a Virge Wrangler."

Kaleb is shown here, languishing in the world of the whiskey tango. He's a world class Vee Dubya.